The case against backpacking as a couple

It’s been said that backpacking is a solo sport. I agree with this simplification despite having made bonds hiking long distances with strangers, camping with friends old and new, and sharing with others the little joys that only the trail can bring. My reason for backpacking solo is much like running or cycling, as one’s level of experience correlates with their level of self-sufficiency. For example, if you’re an avid cyclist, you should know how to change out a flat on the road. You wouldn’t rely on your friend to do it for you if you were anything more than a casual rider or a novice.

When two or more people backpack together, one person will assume the role of the leader. This may be officially designated, or it may just be a convenience of personalities in which the more structured, dominant person will rise to the occasion and make decisions, delegate duties, plan logistics and so on. This person can be counted on to figure out what to do when a bridge is unexpectedly washed out, when someone sprains their ankle, when a freak snowstorm hits and any other unanticipated and usually negative circumstance arises.

This brings me to backpacking as a couple. If there is any disparity in experience between you and your significant other as it pertains to the sport of backpacking, then you will have a leader-follower dynamic. Let’s assume you are the experienced backpacker, and your significant other has less experience but wants to come along for the ride.

The outdoors presents a world of uncertainty: weather, bugs, poisonous plants, flooded trails to name a few. As a couple, you need to ensure that your significant other comes out of it as well as if not better than you. Leaders eat last, and extending this metaphor into backpacking, you should come out of your backpacking trip with more scrapes, bruises and bug bites than your significant other despite your higher level of experience.

I advise anyone who is an avid backpacker to avoid roping your significant other into your hobby. It’s wonderful if your other wants to spend time with you and share an experience with you, but it’s important to reframe this as you not pursuing your hobby to its fullest, but rather curating an enjoyable experience for your other, and as such, it’ll likely mean that you’ll be going much slower and taking a shorter, easier trail than you would on your own. There’s nothing wrong with this and I encourage people to do this, but this is different than you pushing yourself to your limits, improving your skills and gaining more experience in backpacking by doing a longer, more difficult trail.

When it comes to pushing yourself, leave your significant other at home. Do what you need to do to take some time off for yourself so that you can improve and gain more experience in the things you’re passionate about. Save your trips together for the things and places you’re equally interested in and leave the rigors of the trail for your own two feet.

Note: I’m agnostic about couples in which both members were already experienced backpackers before they met. The advice in this article likely doesn’t apply to these rarefied types.